What a beautiful day!!

It's been really cold (in Texan terms) for over a week now - wonderful, jacket-worthy weather. But today I went outside expecting the same and found that it is a perfect, mild day. I turned the heat off and opened my kitchen windows to the light breeze and the rustling leaves. Smiley was snuffling about in the ground cover and Kevin spotted Samantha again, but only for a minute. I went out to water all our plants and got my arm wet: it helps if the hose is connected to the spigot before turning it on full blast! I tried to take a picture of Kevin in the natural light but he decided instead I should be wrestled into the ground; I'd forgotten how fun it is to roll around in the leaves.

My plants are still doing really well, though I think my Morning Glories have bloomed their last for the year. They are yellow and wilty now. My Forget Me Nots are pretty, though still not a single bloom, and my Basil is, of course, still hearty. My jalapeno and avocado seeds have sprouted. I think it's almost time for them to come inside -- I think we're going to make a spot for all of them in the garage, though I'm worried about the lack of sunshine.

There is more and more color to all the trees and plants. I've noticed another bush at the side of the yard is yellow now - it was still green just last week. And of course the crepe myrtle is stunning. I can see the tops of the trees in our neighbor's yards and across the street and they have turned as well. Such a pretty array of Fall colors.

Kevin pruned one of our plants while I caught Smiley eying the yard through the glass door - I think he wants to come outside again.

They didn't come out after all. I think something startled them back inside.

My roses bloomed again, too. I think these are about the largest roses I've seen on this plant; flawless and fragrant. Something about flowers like this make me want to pick them and put them in a vase. Although my intention would be to enjoy their beauty while it lasted, it seems more shameful and selfish than anything.

Contendedness ... and Morning Glories again.

This morning (well, actually it was noon) I sat in my backyard eating an atrociously late breakfast and enjoying the mild air and the birds and bright green of everything. Sometimes I think I might enjoy sleeping outside and waking up to that - there's something primordially therapeutic about Nature.

Last night I fell asleep on the couch and was awakened by a hug; Kevin had seen me asleep and came over to wake me so I could go to bed. Instead of saying "Natalie, it's time to go to bed" or shaking me or something, he instead sat by me on the couch and hugged me. I woke up with a flood or warmth all through my body. That's what Nature is like.

It got me thinking about being comfortable. And thinking about my house. I realized Kevin and I have lived in our house less than 5 months. We are by no means 'moved in' or 'settled', but that first unfamiliar rush and feeling of being in a new place and new walls and colors and the light coming in at different angles through all the windows...It's already slipping away. It doesn't take long, I thought, to lose that first love, that buzz of excitement over something new and ... exciting. It doesn't mean it is not exciting anymore: when I think about it, I'm still very excited and very very pleased to be in this home with my husband. But it doesn't feel quite so exhilarating anymore. 

Got me wondering, too, how people can hop from relationship to relationship probably just looking for that feeling of newness again - something different - just to know it will be gone soon and they'll be off to the next better thing. Is it really better to feel that heady buzz or to simply be happy where you are and with whom you are? What's better? Truly, we can never be fully happy or constantly happy.

I'm not so sure that buzz is as good or as exciting and thrilling as I thought when I was younger. As a kid, you let movies and other people and your unstoppable imagination tell you what life is all about and it's thrilling - only for the fact you haven't actually experienced it yet. So ... maybe it's not that these new experiences are exciting, it's simply that they have been previously un-experienced and are therefore new and maybe just a little overwhelming.

I am happy in my house. It's not glamorous or even as nice as my friend's houses or that person's house across town. But it's my house that I share it with my family and I love it. It's beautiful to me. And even after 5 months - though it's not quite so exciting waking up and thinking every morning 'Wow, this is my house!' - it still is and I still love being here.

I've been married for nearly 6 years and I wouldn't think of dropping my relationship just because that first rush and blush and flurry are long gone. I adore my spouse and there is nothing and no one who can replace him - not even that intoxication of new attraction. I don't comprehend people who don't allow themselves to be content with the things they have (yes, allow; I believe it's within ourselves, not the circumstances around us, to be content). Of course, I want new and different things, too but ... isn't there a line to be drawn? Can't you want new things, like a throw pillow or Christmas ornament or bed sheets, without also feeling like you have to completely rework your life? Don't question those good and wonderful things - those big things that really matter.

All that to say, I'm thinking about contentedness and constancy and realizing how rare they both are. I'm realizing how vital it is to appreciate the small things - something I have observed for many many years in a select few people and I appreciate them so much for that example - and not sweat so much over your house or your husband or wife who isn't perfect. Love them. Love life. Be content. Everything will eventually let you down, at least a little, but that doesn't mean you can throw it away.