Happy Christmas, hopefully

This year I have not been much in the Christmas 'spirit'. I was excited to put our tree up for the first time in our new house and I love it. I love the glimmer of the tree, I love the bright lights along the eaves of the house whenever I pull into the driveway after dark. I love hot mochas with Kevin and Christmas cookies and watching the cats play and sleep under the tree. I love watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' and 'A Christmas Story' and in a way trying to recapture (or capture for once) a different, happier feeling that Christmas is supposed to evoke. I'm pretty sure after 26 Christmases that the feeling of the Christmas spirit, of joy and magic in the air isn't so real as I hope - just make believe. I guess it's just made up by adults to make the very youngest of children feel like there is something wonderful about life and something to look forward to - cuz us grown ups are looking for it, too. Reality and the truth about false expectations sets in and we realize Christmas is just another man made holiday like the rest and just an excuse to buy things and eat more sweets than usual.

This Christmas Eve, my cousin Mike passed away. He had cancer and was fighting it hard for a couple of years. He leaves behind two wonderful young children and many, many friends and colleagues.

He is missed and will be missed as time passes and the truth of this reality sets in: he's not there anymore if I want to text him or have him over for dinner. I won't be at his house anymore drinking boxed wine and laughing about something trivial or talking about his next art show.

I feel angry and sad and shocked and uncertain. I am not sure what I feel or how to feel but I am pretty sure I have a conglomeration of feelings and conflictions going on all at once.

A pretty sad thing to dwell on at Christmas. We're supposed, I guess, to think about family and love and Jesus and lots of good food and company. It's next to impossible to do that when life's razor-sharp ability to sorely disappoint our expectations kicks us in the butt when we let our guard down just a little and dare to hope just a little.

Today Kevin and I are having turkey and mashed potatoes and peas for lunch and I'm drinking some Chardonnay. There's something ironically happy about the Christmas music playing in the background and the cats playing with each other. The lights are still on, the music still plays, and people still talk and live with one another. It just helps you appreciate a little more, I suppose, those people that you care about while they are here for you to talk to and see with your own eyes.

Holiday Baking - Part II

These are the last cookies I baked this month but I hadn't uploaded any photos yet. They were SO good and not too sweet. They are Lemon Pistachio Cookies. I love the crunch of the nuts and the tang of the citrus glaze. You can find the recipe here. If you don't have a wreath cookie cutter (which I do not) just use a round one - or the lip of a smallish glass - to cut simple circles.

Very easy and very yummy with a steaming cup of Earl Grey.

Curtains & Christmas Lights

I thought I would post some photos of our living room once we got our new lovely curtains hung, at last (on Nov. 30th). Kevin took down the old (awful) curtain rod and we patched up the wall in a few spots. Someone had put the middle 'brace' for the rod completely off center over the window so we patched that spot and had to touch up the paint a tiny bit. Then we (Kevin) drilled fresh holes and mounted the new curtain rod - and actually *centered* it correctly over the windows. The little bit of OCD in me is rejoicing. ;) 

I got this curtain rod at Garden Ridge for $19.99 ... here, Kevin is making some adjustments to it on the wall. We're waiting on the curtains to steam in the washing machine.

And here are the lovely curtains, hung at last. The furniture is still in flux at this point but I had to snap a photo. I'm SO pleased with the height of the curtains; they are absolutely just right. I wanted them nearly brushing the floor, but not. It looks a little weird in the photo - I think the cats had already messed them sitting in the window or something.

I thought, while the couch was in the middle of the living room, it might be nice to just rearrange the room. I had been thinking about 'flipping' everything and putting the couch where the chairs were. I think it looks better this way, at least for now; I will probably get sick of it in another 6 months and come up with an entirely different way of arranging the furniture. But for now it's great. I think the chairs (especially the orange swivel one) look great against the light blue curtains.

Here's a photo of the couch in it's new spot. I think it looks nice. =)

Also, our Christmas lights are up! Kevin and his brother put them up one afternoon (Dec. 2nd) and I came home from work not quite recognizing my house! It looks great but completely different. Somehow all those small bulbs, en masse, light up the house like daytime and make it look sort of (dare I say) magical and just a little bit charming.

Here is a close up at our front door. I love being able to see the tree through the door. (Perhaps it's time to move the pumpkins??)