Contendedness ... and Morning Glories again.

This morning (well, actually it was noon) I sat in my backyard eating an atrociously late breakfast and enjoying the mild air and the birds and bright green of everything. Sometimes I think I might enjoy sleeping outside and waking up to that - there's something primordially therapeutic about Nature.

Last night I fell asleep on the couch and was awakened by a hug; Kevin had seen me asleep and came over to wake me so I could go to bed. Instead of saying "Natalie, it's time to go to bed" or shaking me or something, he instead sat by me on the couch and hugged me. I woke up with a flood or warmth all through my body. That's what Nature is like.

It got me thinking about being comfortable. And thinking about my house. I realized Kevin and I have lived in our house less than 5 months. We are by no means 'moved in' or 'settled', but that first unfamiliar rush and feeling of being in a new place and new walls and colors and the light coming in at different angles through all the windows...It's already slipping away. It doesn't take long, I thought, to lose that first love, that buzz of excitement over something new and ... exciting. It doesn't mean it is not exciting anymore: when I think about it, I'm still very excited and very very pleased to be in this home with my husband. But it doesn't feel quite so exhilarating anymore. 

Got me wondering, too, how people can hop from relationship to relationship probably just looking for that feeling of newness again - something different - just to know it will be gone soon and they'll be off to the next better thing. Is it really better to feel that heady buzz or to simply be happy where you are and with whom you are? What's better? Truly, we can never be fully happy or constantly happy.

I'm not so sure that buzz is as good or as exciting and thrilling as I thought when I was younger. As a kid, you let movies and other people and your unstoppable imagination tell you what life is all about and it's thrilling - only for the fact you haven't actually experienced it yet. So ... maybe it's not that these new experiences are exciting, it's simply that they have been previously un-experienced and are therefore new and maybe just a little overwhelming.

I am happy in my house. It's not glamorous or even as nice as my friend's houses or that person's house across town. But it's my house that I share it with my family and I love it. It's beautiful to me. And even after 5 months - though it's not quite so exciting waking up and thinking every morning 'Wow, this is my house!' - it still is and I still love being here.

I've been married for nearly 6 years and I wouldn't think of dropping my relationship just because that first rush and blush and flurry are long gone. I adore my spouse and there is nothing and no one who can replace him - not even that intoxication of new attraction. I don't comprehend people who don't allow themselves to be content with the things they have (yes, allow; I believe it's within ourselves, not the circumstances around us, to be content). Of course, I want new and different things, too but ... isn't there a line to be drawn? Can't you want new things, like a throw pillow or Christmas ornament or bed sheets, without also feeling like you have to completely rework your life? Don't question those good and wonderful things - those big things that really matter.

All that to say, I'm thinking about contentedness and constancy and realizing how rare they both are. I'm realizing how vital it is to appreciate the small things - something I have observed for many many years in a select few people and I appreciate them so much for that example - and not sweat so much over your house or your husband or wife who isn't perfect. Love them. Love life. Be content. Everything will eventually let you down, at least a little, but that doesn't mean you can throw it away.

In the backyard today I discovered a profusion of flowers and good things. I had to walk around in the lush grass and photograph some of it. The other day Kevin discovered a few stunning Spider Lilies which I had never seen before and am thrilled they are in my backyard! I had honestly forgotten about them til I turned the corner of by the patio and found them in all their glory. My herbs and other flowers are doing well, too, though my Morning Glories haven't bloomed since the first time. Here are a few photos from my backyard stroll. =)

My beautiful rose bush has bloomed again. I love the rich coral-orange color of the blooms. The smell is so sweet!

A new rose.

A little rosebud starting to bloom.

And here are the red Spider Lilies! I'm especially excited for these. The petals around the center were actually shimmering -- I don't think I've ever seen that before in a flower. It is so beautiful and unique. The little stems shooting out had pollen collected at the tips. The flower pictured below had a tiny spider web woven between the stems (you can see it at the right of the photo).

Spider Lily closeup. The photo doesn't do it justice.

Here is a lovely purple flower Kevin discovered. Never seen this one in the yard before either. It started growing in a corner where we have lots of green plants so I wouldn't be surprised if there are more new flowers to come.

Can you see the bug??

 

 

 

 

 

Here is our mushroom birdhouse. I think it's darling. It's hanging in the Crepe Myrtle at the opposite side of the yard. The Crepe Myrtle has been pruned so it looks more like a tree. It's adorable! The perfect place for a little bird family to live. Though I think we'll have to wait til next Spring for any birds to take up residence.

We have a few huge Rose of Sharon along one side of the fence. Here is one of the blooms. They die off pretty quickly but then re-bloom quickly again so it's almost always colorful.

I think this variety is called Double Purple?

So I think my dead Coriander from the Summer decided to start growing again? It looks like I have about four of these starting to sprout up around my Basil...I honestly can't remember if this is what the Coriander looked like when it started growing in July, but we'll see once it gets a little bigger.