Friday, March 18, 2011


This morning I woke up crying.

As my body emerged from the cloudy surface of sleep back into consciousness of time and bedsheets and hungry cats, I was aware that I had been dreaming about Mike.

I was standing with him and Emma and Griffin outside in the sun - we had taken them for the weekend and met back up with Mike on Sunday afternoon. He was wearing his signature jeans and smiling a lot. He was holding a cup of coffee in his left hand.

He was telling me about the kids' Christmas - they spent it in Europe and he was so excited for them - Emma was smiling, too. Then he was talking about the kids coming back home in January and then saying that he had done ... something ... with them in January. I can't remember what it was though. But as he was saying this I felt something telling me that January didn't quite make sense. I looked at Em and she wasn't smiling anymore. I put my hand to my mouth and felt tears welling up as I realized why none of that was real and then everything sort of went blurry and black and I felt like I was being pulled away.

He isn't here anymore ... it was ... just a dream.

Kevin and Mike in Denison, Mary Karam Gallery. 03/27/2010

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